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Why it’s tough to be a Girl MC

Welcome to my new blog! Soon, it will be on my new website, which is currently being designed in New York by my wix Design Pro, Lillibug. Last year I won a competition on http://www.wix.com/ where the prize was a professionally designed website by the wix Pro of my choice! So Lillibug is putting the final touches on it and it should be up soon. But enough about me… more about my weekend.

This weekend I was booked by Apollo Artist Agency, who now manage me (yes, I need managing) to be the MC Campus Invasion at Klein Libertas in Stellenbosch.

That’s me with my Manager, Brendan Sterley. Look at what a good job he’s doing of managing me.
Picture by @slkaye

Now this was not my first MC gig. No ways mister. I’ve MC’d Oppikoppi 2 years in a row, MK’s 5th birthday party, Ramfest Johannesburg, TUKS Rag…I’m an old hat, as they say. Although I’d prefer to be called a “mature hat”.

Sadly, MC-ing just doesn’t seem to be getting any easier with “maturity”. Every time I am asked to MC an event, I immediately respond with an excited “YES!” before spiralling into a mild panic halted only by the intake of a medium-to-large sized alcoholic beverage.

YOU image going on stage in front of 18,000 people (Oppikoppi 2010) with confidence and a smile knowing that absolutely NO ONE is there to see you.

Yes, that’s just ONE of the many difficulties of MC-ing. Absolutely NO ONE is there cares who you are. They might not mind having you on stage…well a few of them anyway. They might even watch your show (JIP, MK, DSTV 324, Wednesday nights, 19:30) But they are most certainly not discussing the line up for the weekend, saying “Ok, so Friday night we have to see Taxi Violence on the main stage at 10, oh and we absolutely cannot be late for the MC. You know, Natalie Roos? WHAT?! You haven’t seen her MC?! Dude, prepare to have your mind blown! She MC’s the heck out of a festival! Man, I love that chick! I have all her MC-gigs on DVD at home. You have to see this girl!”

No, it’s more like “Oh, the band just finished. We have 15 minutes to go do other stuff while that little girl runs around the stage trying to get us to scream and whistle. Who is that anyway? Oh wait! T-shirts! YEEEAAAHHH!”

I think MC-gigs are easier for guys. Guys can go on stage, point to a guy in the audience, call him a douche, and everyone laughs. He can swear at the crowd, and everyone laughs. He can tell everyone he just vomited backstage with 3 rock stars and people cheer! Guys are funny. Even when they’re not.

And then…then there are guys who actually are funny! Imagine how easy they have it. Take my friend Snoddie for example. The man is a comical genius. He was born of comedian genes. He’s a ginger for pete sake!

Look at the man! HILARIOUS!

Girls just cannot do that. I like to swear at people in the audience sometimes. But only in extreme cases. Once, there was a guy in the front row, shouting “BOOO! BOOOO! BOOOOOOOO!” over and over. Eventually I said “This guy in the front row, f*$%^ you! You are a @&(*(#*$&@& !! Everyone, have a look at this boy with the afro and the red shirt. Now, steal his booze and kick him.” Later, he apologized.

Because, when it comes to MC-ing, if you can’t be a buy, and you can’t be funny…the main strength you really have, is the mic. No matter what the people in the crowd shout at you, whether it be “Boo!” “Get off the stage!” or “We want TAXI!”, having the Power Of The Mic means that you can point and laugh at them, and get at least a few others to do it with you.

So, as long as I have the mic, I’ll be fine…. A few t-shirts can’t hurt either.

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