Did you see this post listing the 25 reasons why you should never visit Greece? As someone who recently visited Greece myself, I can attest to the fact that everything in that article is 100% true. There are hundreds more reasons not to visit Greece – in fact, too many to mention!
Now I feel like its my duty to tell the world why no one should ever visit Cape Town. I mean, if you hated Greece, you will want to burn Cape Town to the ground. It’s just not the kind of place you want to travel to, you know?
1. THERE IS NOWHERE TO GO FOR A PICNIC
Literally nowhere. No winefarms. No public parks. No beaches. Nothing. You might as well burn that picnic basket because you will never enjoy a meal outdoors again.
2. THE WINE IS TERRIBLE
Ask anyone who knows anything about wine. South African wine is horrible. It never wins any awards, and for good reason. Because it is terrible.
3. THE SUNSETS ARE AVERAGE
You might as well just watch TV when the sun goes down because the sunsets are super average. There just isn’t anywhere to watch the sky turn pink and purple and orange and gold.
4. THE BEACHES ARE AWFUL
If you’re planning on spending some time on the beach, move along. There are just no nice beaches in Cape Town. Not Clifton 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th. Not Camps Bay. Not Bakoven. And not any of the others.
6. THE FOOD IS AWFUL
There’s not a decent bite to eat anywhere in Cape Town. I’d sooner go hungry that allow a single morsel to pass my lips in this city.
7. THE PEOPLE ARE UGLY
Sorry, but they are. Cape Town would be greatly improved by a few plastic surgeons. Or better yet, brown paper bags.
8. THE BUILDINGS ARE UGLY
Everywhere you look, ugly! The buildings are ugly and the city bowl is a mess. Nothing nice to see anywhere. No Cape Dutch architecture, no colourful buildings or jaw-dropping views. Nothing.
9. THERE’S NOWHERE TO WORK OUT
Another thing that you will hate about Cape Town is that there is not a single place to exercise. I mean, there are gyms, but there’s nowhere that you can work out and get active for free. If only there were some mountains to climb, or a promenade to run along. This is why people in this city are so ugly.
10. IT’S IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
If you’re someone who likes exploring and getting away for the weekend, don’t come to Cape Town. There is literally just nothing to see within two hours drive of the city. No beachside getaways or winelands retreats and certainly no luxury safari lodges. You’re basically stuck in this hell hole.
11. THERE’S NO NATURAL BEAUTY
Like, how even can people live here? It’s all so artificial and man made!
12. THE LOCALS HATE IT
Why wouldn’t they though?
13. THERE’S LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO
Like, no music festivals or art festivals. No theatre. No hiking trails. No nightlife. Nothing.
14. NO MATTER THE SEASON, IT’S JUST THE WORST
Summer, winter, autumn, spring. They’re all TERRIBLE!
15. THE LIVING WORST
Where do you live? It’s probably awful too!