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Sugar High

My little sister lives all the way over in Australia, but that didn’t stop her from finding a very sweet way of asking me to be her maid of honour. She sent me a huge hamper of delicious treats from Ma Mere Maison – Cape Town’s very best confectioner, with a sweet note that almost made me cry.

This hamper contained four macaroons, four little nougats, a big nougat, a packet of salted caramel popcorn, pink Steri Stumpie fudge, salted macadamia brittle, almond brittle and a jar of salted caramel sauce. So I’m sure that in my sister’s mind, this hamper was going to last us pretty much until her wedding, in 2016. I’m sure it would have lasted her even longer than that.

But me, well, I’ve just gotten back on the healthy-eating bandwagon, so obviously, the logical thing to do in order to avoid the temptation to eat something every day, is to eat the whole hamper in one go. Sure, it was going to be a challenge, but it was going to be worth it in the long run.

I started small, with one macaroon. And slowly but surely, I ate three more. Then I ate the little nougats, then the macadamia brittle, then the fudge and then the almond brittle.

My boyfriend was busy getting ready to go see a friend and he was helping me eat the sweets so that we could carry on with our lives. I was lounging on the bed, eating and eating like a wild animal or a naughty child. I was really stuck in. Eventually, I had eaten all the sugar I could stomach and I told Keenan to take the candy away. I looked up at him, my lips covered in sugar and said “What would it take for you to go buy me a packet of Nik-Naks?”

I woke up and checked my phone for the time. It was 9:40pm. All the lights were on. I was sprawled on the bed under a blanket. “Keen? Keenan are you here?” I called out to the empty house. My heart was pounding and I felt quite confused. I dialled his number. “Hello Natalie” he answered. “Keen, are you still with your friend?” “Yes, is everything ok?”

“Was I awake when you left?” “Of course you were awake when I left” he laughed. “Don’t you remember?” I put down the phone and stumbled back to bed, where I passed out again. Keenan arrived home just after 10pm and I woke up as he was locking up the house. “Keenan, I just woke up from a sugar coma” I said, before passing out once more.

I woke up this morning just after 5am. I was wide awake and my stomach was aching. I rolled over and tapped Keenan on the shoulder. “Keen, I have a tummy ache”. He stirred, rolled away and said over his shoulder “That’s because you ate all the sweets”. And he was right.