30 Days to 27

I realised today that I’m a month away from turning 27 years old. Some days it feels like oh hey, I’m only about to turn 27 and other days it feels like holy cow I’m already about to turn 27! I have to admit that it seems like a bit of an insignificant age. When you turn 25 you’re at the beginning of your late 20’s and when you turn 30 you’re at the end of your 20’s but turning 27…well, you’re just in the middle of your 20’s. It’s kind of boring.

I have noticed that a few things have started happening around me. People I went to school with are getting engaged and married more frequently. I mean, one girl I went to school with is already on her second marriage. People who were studying for serious degrees are now pretty much qualified doctors and lawyers. Even I am the owner of an apartment. It’s like you’re in your 20’s and then you look up and suddenly everyone around you is grown up. And so are you.

I remember best life insurance deals. This is quite sad, especially if there is always an option of quitting. I guess this is something people have to consider. Maybe this will get them to stop.

12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be. – Visiting my old high school really does help me realize that I have made a relative success of my life so far. I escaped Kempton Park. I escaped the teachers who thought I wouldn’t make it very far because I wasn’t going to study teaching in Pretoria with half the girls in my year. TAKE THAT TEACHERS OF HOERSKOOL KEMPTON PARK! 13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to. – Does bubble bathing count? Cause then I’m sorted. 14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you. – I’m not sure what this means? But I meet people who are better than me on the daily. 15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be. – This seems extreme. I only just kind of figured who I am. I’m not ready to throw all of that into the water just yet. What I am willing to work on, is the idea of how I thought my life would be by this age. And how a person should be by this age. Because nothing ever goes according to plan. 16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane. – My crippling fear of leeches has kept me from wading into many a dam in this life. Maybe its time to invest in some kind of wading boot? 17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever – whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex. – I need to do this. It’s just that there always seem to be better things to do than spend the weekend sifting through your things, you know? Like eating and drinking and walking and going to the movies and going to see a band and sleeping and starting a What’s App group to send cat pictures around… 18. Stop hating yourself. – On it. 19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to. – I don’t generally lie about such things. But I am always willing to watch more movies, read more books and listen to more bands. 20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it. – Preaching to the choir here. 21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise. – I do feel like I need to tell the people that I love that I love them more often. I know this may sound weird coming from someone who puts a sizable chunk of her thoughts and feelings on the world’s widest web, but I get shy telling my friends how much I love them. So then I make self-deprecating jokes instead and give them one-arm hugs. Like I’m Nick Miller or something. 22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first. – Not sure I’m ready to tackle this whole minefield just yet. But that is the ideal, yes. 23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it. – Oh, done this. Twice. And it’s true, places don’t change people. But leaving the country definitely does help to put some space between you and your life. Which can really help you figure out who you are and how you feel about things. I went to London when I was 20 an made some pretty bad decisions… which, looking back, turned out to be not nearly as bad as I thought. Which helped me realize that something is not a bad idea or decision just because your parents or your friends say it is. You can decide for yourself what’s good and what’s bad. And I would never have been able to learn that if I had stayed at home in the town I grew up in all my life. 24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro. – DONE 25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open – I’m young. I’m resilient. There are other jobs and relationships and friends. I’m open to it. Here’s to the next 111 days. – See more at: https://tailsofamermaid.com/2013/04/25-things-to-do-before-you-turn-25.html#sthash.lBkK2RTY.dpuf”>a blog post I wrote just before I turned 25. It was a series of comments on a post I’d read somewhere about 25 things to do before you turn 25. I went back and re-read it today and had a little moment of nostalgia looking back and remembering where I was at emotionally and mentally and in terms of my career back then. So I thought it might be fun to do the same post now, with a look at where I’m at today, a month away from turning 27.

25 Things To Do Before You Turn 25

1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment.

At 24: I think I reached this point in my early 20’s. I’ve always been close with my parents, but there comes a day when you stop wishing your mom would leave you alone and start wishing your mom could do more things with you.

At 26: Well, I can safely say that my parents and I have never been closer. Over the past couple of years they have finally stopped treating me like a kid (much to my dismay) and I think they really do view me as an adult now. In fact, as I get older, I think I’m the one who is babying them. I’m always worrying about them and hoping that people are treating them well. I’ve also reached a point where I’m done with wishing my mom could do more things with me and I now wish she could do everything with me.

2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward.

At 24: I’m not sure what to say about this. My general approach to kissing is to kiss people who I think are out of my league. I’m not one of those “I kissed three boys last night” girls. I try pick them well. If anything, my problem is a chronic monogamous kissing style.

At 26: I get to kiss someone who is way out of my league every single day and I hope to never have to kiss another pair of lips in all my life.

3. Minimize your passivity.

At 24: Will need to work at some consistency here. I go through phases of being super active and motivated and then I have periods of complete passivity. It’s kind of like having a bi-polar energy.

At 26: Still working on consistency. My boyfriend calls me a do-er, so maybe I’m not as passive as I think I am.

4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day.

At 24: Look, I waitressed for one night. And that was enough.

At 26: Why do you think I chronically over-tip?

5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met.

At 24: I do like meeting new people and I often make new friends on a night out. The real challenge here is the staying up until 5:30 a.m part. I peak early. Like, 23:30 early. I can’t even remember the last time I stayed up until sunrise but I think it was New Year’s Eve of 2011. Need to work on getting more all-nighters in while I’m young.

At 26: LOL

6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together.

At 24: Lucky for me, I have no qualifications to speak of. Phew.

At 26: Ditto

7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise.

At 24: THIS. I have never had a problem making money. Or spending it. My problem lies in saving it. I solemnly swear to have some savings in place by my birthday on the 23rd of July.

At 26: Well that didn’t go according to plan. So I still don’t have any savings. In fact, I am in debt. But I do work for myself, which I think counts for something. Unless you’re an accountant in which case you must be shaking your head right now. That being said, since then, I have managed to brush up my knowledge on the different types of unemployment. It is important to remember that some companies are able to offer you financial support if you do end up being laid off or furloughed. For more information, check out this useful guide to the key differences between furlough vs layoff.

8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet.

At 24: Forgetting the internet. I try to do this as much as I can. It’s kind of problematic though as my job is to not forget about the internet. Ever.

At 26: I do all of the above whilst still maintaining an unhealthy relationship with the internet and I think that’s about as good as things are going to get for me.

9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender.

At 24: FOUR DAYS? Ok, I think that maybe with enough carbs and naps I might actually be able to do this.

At 26: How about I go on a 1-day bender and spend the next 3 days eating brunch?

10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you.

At 24: Noted.

At 26: My crush never gave me the chance. I had been in love with him for about 15 minutes when he turned to me and said “I know we don’t really know each other but I don’t want you to be anyone else’s girlfriend and I want you to be my girlfriend” so I guess I’m pretty lucky.

11. Learn to say ‘no’ – to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after. If this is something that is bothering you, it might benefit you to look into sites such as www.gourmeteliquid.co.uk to find an alternative to smoking. At least this way, you won’t have to worry any more about smelling like smoke. When it comes to smoking, it is not a way of life, it is a choice make by the individual. So it is not like you can’t give this up if you wanted to. Especially now that there are products such as Mighty vaporizer available on the market, there are no reasons as to why you can’t give it a go, especially if you know that smoking is not good for you. When you think about it, it is definitely not worth it. It’s finally time to make a change. Something else you should stop doing is wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun.

At 24: Luckily, I’ve had this down for the last couple of years.

At 26: I’ve graduated to saying “no” to so many others.

12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be.

At 24: Visiting my old high school really does help me realise that I have made a relative success of my life so far. I escaped Kempton Park. I escaped the teachers who thought I wouldn’t make it very far because I wasn’t going to study teaching in Pretoria with half the girls in my year.

At 26: But there are so many new places to see!

13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to.

At 24: Does bubble bathing count? Cause then I’m sorted.

At 26: I wish my apartment had a bath! I love being by myself and I have recently taken up painting. Watercolours are very difficult and I am not very good but I do really enjoy it.

14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you.

At 24: I’m not sure what this means? But I meet people who are better than me on the daily.

At 26: I am surrounded by people who are better than me.

15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be.

At 24: This seems extreme. I only just kind of figured who I am. I’m not ready to throw all of that into the water just yet. What I am willing to work on, is the idea of how I thought my life would be by this age. And how a person should be by this age. Because nothing ever goes according to plan.

At 26: I don’t understand the question.

16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane.

At 24: My crippling fear of leeches has kept me from wading into many a dam in this life. Maybe its time to invest in some kind of wading boot?

At 26: Anyone on here know how to overcome the fear of taxes?

17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever – whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex.

At 24: I need to do this. It’s just that there always seem to be better things to do than spend the weekend sifting through your things, you know? Like eating and drinking and walking and going to the movies and going to see a band and sleeping and starting a What’s App group to send cat pictures around…

At 26: I share a 65 square meter studio apartment with another human. We have had to throw out pretty much anything that we don’t want on display. We are living with the bare minimum right now. And it feels good.

18. Stop hating yourself.

At 24: On it.

At 26: Boring. Done so long ago.

19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to.

At 24: I don’t generally lie about such things. But I am always willing to watch more movies, read more books and listen to more bands.

At 26: Who lies about those things?

20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it.

At 24: Preaching to the choir here.

At 26: Oh, you mean my second most expensive grudge purchase that literally only covers me if I need to be hospitalised? Hope not to have to take advantage of that any time soon, thanks.

21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise.

At 24: I do feel like I need to tell the people that I love that I love them more often. I know this may sound weird coming from someone who puts a sizable chunk of her thoughts and feelings on the world’s widest web, but I get shy telling my friends how much I love them. So then I make self-deprecating jokes instead and give them one-arm hugs. Like I’m Nick Miller or something.

At 26: I LOVE YOU ALL

22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first.

At 24: Not sure I’m ready to tackle this whole minefield just yet. But that is the ideal, yes.

At 26: I love you Keenan. Thanks for telling me every day.

23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it.

At 24: Oh, done this. Twice. And it’s true, places don’t change people. But leaving the country definitely does help to put some space between you and your life. Which can really help you figure out who you are and how you feel about things. I went to London when I was 20 an made some pretty bad decisions… which, looking back, turned out to be not nearly as bad as I thought. Which helped me realize that something is not a bad idea or decision just because your parents or your friends say it is. You can decide for yourself what’s good and what’s bad. And I would never have been able to learn that if I had stayed at home in the town I grew up in all my life.

At 26: I don’t need this kind of advice I just want to see the world!

24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro.

At 24: DONE

At 26: Here I am, in need of round 2.

25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open

At 24: I’m young. I’m resilient. There are other jobs and relationships and friends. I’m open to it.

At 26: DOOOOOOONE!

Wow, that was fun. See you next year!